Neverland

Thought it’d be a page about my love for the works of J.M. Barrie, eh?? PSYCH!

But I could say that I’ve skipped a fair number of rites of passage for Adulthood. The “About” page has paragraphs about my blog and such.  There are some navel-gazing posts. Here is the “Never Have I Ever” game as a page. A bulleted list of things about me. Don’t say I never did anything for you (hee!)

I’m not dead yet, so this is a “so far” list, but there are some items that I hope, ah, never get removed.

  • Never went to Prom
  • Never went to Homecoming (dance)
  • Never less than 3.75 GPA
  • Never took Calculus
  • Never took HS Biology, so never had to collect and kill bugs
  • Never been the correct weight for my height/build, even from birth (always OVER)
  • Never been drunk
  • …because Never taken more than one sip of any booze (hate its taste)
  • …Never being drunk eliminates a lot of additional Nevers
  • Never taken recreational drugs
  • …see “Drunk” above
  • Never smoked, except for a single puff, as a child, to see what it was like
  • Never been kissed (but have dated a few times)
  • …which also eliminates a lot of additional Nevers. Anything that may occur after kissing, in other words.
  • …I’ll help you along: Sex, Marriage, Kids…
  • Never a tattoo
  • Never a piercing, ANYwhere
  • Never been arrested, nor close to it
  • Never eaten “exotic” meats like reptile, insect, or parts like genitals, tongue, etc
  • Never been on TV
  • Never donated blood (inability, not a refusal)
  • Never held a loaded firearm
  • Never finished reading the Bible
  • Never read a lot of other “classic” books, either, like Lord of the Rings, Catcher in the Rye, Little Women… that “Never” list could go on for ages, so I’ll stop here.
  • Never tried an “extreme” sport
  • Never had a fake ID – never needed one
  • Never “dirty danced”
  • Never totaled my car, but have had minor accidents
  • Never prepared my own tax returns
  • Never worked what could be interpreted as a “dream job”
  • Never been in a fistfight
  • Never ridden a motorcycle
  • Never played Spin the Bottle
  • Never played Truth or Dare
  • Never lied about my age
  • Never skinny-dipped
  • Never been in any school sports or beyond
  • Never won the lottery, but God, do I wish it could be crossed off soon
  • Never thrown up on a thrill ride, nor close to it
  • Never played strip poker
  • Never had a “smart phone”
  • Never driven stick shift
  • Never streaked
  • Never had to be a bridesmaid
  • …Nor Maid of Honor

Things that I wish could be on the Never list, but their ship has sailed:

  • Struck/Hit someone I loved
  • Fainted
  • Been to the hospital
  • Had any kind of car accident
  • Been laid off
  • Wet the bed past adolescence
  • Wet my pants in public
  • Farted at work
  • Farted in public, in general
  • Ridden a Waverunner
  • Needed stitches
  • Fallen asleep during a class
  • Fallen asleep during a movie
  • Been patted down at the airport
  • Stolen anything, anywhere
  • Lied
  • Had to shovel snow after a blizzard for a job that did not call a snow day
  • Said anything hurtful to anyone
  • Had anything hurtful said to me

Maybe I’ll add more as I think of things. So don’t think that, just because something is missing, that I’ve done it. In other words, no, I have not killed anyone. You get the idea.

 

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5 Responses to Neverland

  1. Damn! We actually share a whole lot of Nevers! I never thought I’d see a Never list with so many of my same Nevers…

    • herdthinner says:

      I don’t get out much. And my go-to place for birthday celebrations is Disneyland, not Vegas! That takes care of plenty of Nevers right there. But I have to say that visiting D-land as a single adult can be pretty surreal.

      • There’s two of my Nevers there all wrapped into one… Vegas and Disney (fill in the blank). Heck, I’ve never even been to either California or Florida, for that matter…

        I used to go to Six Flags with family, but would never go by myself. That would definitely be a rather odd experience…

  2. Pingback: More Interludes: Love and other Fairy Tales | Herdthinner's Happy Place

  3. avsweb1 says:

    Great blog… Glad I found you… 🙂

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