30. Hm. Should I Stay or Should I Go?

The good and bad side of social media:

  • Good: It makes it easier to find people you’ve lost contact with.
  • Bad: It makes it easier for people you’ve lost contact with to find you.

When I moved to New England for 13 years, I ignored and deleted whatever emails I was getting from the high school reunion-obsessed woman who’s planned every reunion that I’m aware of. Eventually my email decided on my behalf that it was spam.

But, when I was still local, I attended the 10-year reunion, and there is very, very little that I recall about it. I don’t drink – ever – so that just means it was unremarkable. Ten years is short, and yet a lot can still happen during it. The basic Life Passage stuff: college, marriage, kids, etc. We even had some deaths. I’d finished college and had a “real” job by then, but not much else.

And now I’m older, and Reunion Lady found me on Facebook. Judging by the positions of the constellations in the sky, it turns out that we escaped high school 30 years ago. Okay, that’s a somewhat significant milestone. Something to consider.

Unlike my mother, I did not keep in contact with my classmates, barring one or two exceptions. Even during school, I hung out with the Juniors more than my “peers.” Seeing the names in the reunion group on Facebook, and having visited some of their pages, I barely recognize them, and not just because they’re older. So many of them were already strangers to me.

I was bullied, a lot, in high school. Ergo, I don’t have fond memories of, ah, certain people. I’ve been fat my entire life – and I mean overweight even straight from the womb – and that was just short of a death sentence in the place where I’d been expanding my mind and knowledge for four years. Maybe it still is at the same place, 30 years later. My niece attends it now; maybe she knows?

So why go, one might wonder? My answer is a shrug. It’s my answer for Why NOT to go, too. It’s the 30th one, I’m local again, so… Okay, I’ll see about dragging my 100% introverted ass to the venue, see if I recognize anyone, and hope that I don’t have a Liz Lemon experience there. If you don’t know what I mean, look for the “30 Rock” high school reunion episode. It is spectacular.


Now for my 30-year assessment. What’s changed and what hasn’t all these years. Don’t worry; major milestones only!


  • Lived in another state
  • Found a long-term job that has nothing to do with my degree or anything I’m interested in. It pays the bills
  • Owned a house, then a condo
  • Published four novels, and only just remembered that before posting this!

The Same:

  • Weight. Let me be more specific. I’m back to the weight I was while in high school. After college I gained even more and was obese. Now I’m back to fat. Hopefully the original bullies won’t notice or care
  • Back in my home state
  • Still read comic books
  • Never married
  • No kids
  • Still act the same way at parties: I wander about aimlessly, picking at food, a little bit of chatting – an extended conversation if I’m lucky, and am generally bored and want to leave early. And WILL. NOT. DANCE. Not shy; I just don’t enjoy it.

So… Why did I enjoy the work bash (previous post) so much? Because I had something to do! I was playing in a rock band, fercryingoutloud. How much more “occupied” can you get?? And best of all, while behind the drums and/or singing, I didn’t have to mingle! Now that’s an introvert’s dream.

But if the response to my post in the HS reunion group is any indication, there will be no one else to rock with me. I’ve got drums and nowhere to go with them. A bunch of “likes” to the suggestion, but I have no one’s sword, bow, or axe. So I must gird my loins and be resolved to wandering about aimlessly, picking at food, and a little bit of chatting. I will not obsess about losing even more weight, or buy a dress or skirt, no heels, won’t do my hair, nor even put on makeup unless my nose is redder than usual. That’s never been “me” and never will be.

But this whole shebang ain’t ’til August. Yeah, after all that navel-gazing, you have to wait! Sorry. But I’ll let you know how it goes. Deal?


About herdthinner

Writer and artist who pays the bills with another job
This entry was posted in Navel-Gazing and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to 30. Hm. Should I Stay or Should I Go?

  1. You sure are brave… I couldn’t be dragged to a school reunion.

    I never socialized at all in high school, so there was never any post-school contact with anyone in my class. And I’ve never gotten an invite to any stupid reunion! Bonus that I have such a common name that it would be hard for anyone to track me down… if they even remember me at all. And yeah, it helps that I am on no social media sites at all (I don’t consider blogging to be social media anymore than I consider a covered wagon to be an automobile)…

    • herdthinner says:

      Sometimes curiosity gets the better of me. I do wonder what fine messes some may have gotten into. And I’m guessing that I’d have the option to leave at any time. If it were up to me, the reunion would be in an abandoned prison or psychiatric hospital, in which case, leaving would be… challenging. I think this is why I’ve made no traction in my wedding planning business. What do you think?

      One of my good friends from middle/high school, whom I lost track of, shares a name with a pro basketball player. You can imagine how helpful Google has been there.

      Given our “certain age,” most of my peers have kids, and only post pics and blurbs about them on their FB profile. Mine? All about me, baby! ;-D

  2. franhunne4u says:

    I did socialize at secondary school, but I never went back after 5 years of meeting up with the girls – they led different lives from mine. Like you I am single and childfree. There is not much I have in common with them anymore. And who wants to live in the past?

    • herdthinner says:

      I’m okay with attending for curiosity’s sake. 30 years is a milestone, so I’ve got an “Eh, why not?” attitude. BUT… being local to the event is a big factor. If I were still living 3500 miles away, I couldn’t be arsed to make a special visit for it. It’s in August, which was not one of my vacation months when I lived that far away. I tried to pick slightly “off” months like Sept and Oct.

      I was actually bullied extensively in high school, and some of them will be present, as far as I know. But I have no interest in confrontations. For one thing, my memory of who exactly did what isn’t reliable. And I’m not confrontational by nature, which was probably a factor in why it never stopped.

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