I have a housemate that bothers to show her face when it’s convenient for her. We don’t talk. We have totally separate lives. She thinks she has a job, but clearly not, or she’d be helping with finances.
Today I caught her putting the moves on a barrista. Because they’re such catches, you know. I guess Larry could be, but whatever.
MAYBE YOU COULD PAY THE ELECTRIC BILL OR SOMETHING SOMETIME, HUH? Stupid Eight Eyes.
Herdthinner's Happy Place 
Aw, she’s a cute little thing!
Considering the cost of coffee, she’s smart to go for the barista 🙂
I didn’t know until then that they delivered to bathtubs,
The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the Starbucks spout
Down came the expresso and burned the spider’s tender nether regions out
Out came the lawyer and with a million dollar settlement
And the itsy bitsy spider never had to go out for coffee again.
OK, that sucked… but it started off nice!
But that makes it worse; thanks to that settlement, she has no excuse for not paying the cable bill. That’s the highest one next to the mortgage.